Home on the Ranch: Tennessee Bull Rider Read online

  “Hey.” Nate gestured toward the babies, who peered around them with interest. “Thought we’d surprise you.”

  Her cheeks reddened. She dropped her hand towel on the counter, then walked around to the other side. “Where’s Landon?”

  “At Frank’s for Wednesday poker night. I offered to pitch in so he could go.” He bit his lip as she eyed the stroller. “I picked it up this afternoon. They act like they like it.”

  She nodded slowly, smoothed her fingers through Mason’s hair, then kissed each baby’s cheek. “Thank you.”

  “How’re my favorite tykes doing?” Will walked over, smiling down at the babies. “Still as cute as ever, I see.”

  Nate tensed as Will crouched, then tapped his finger on the edge of Mason’s seat. Mason grabbed hold of it and tugged, squealing.

  The sight spurred an intense burn in Nate’s gut.

  Will laughed. “Think he remembers me.” He stood, then thrust out his hand. “Will Sanderson.”

  Nate forced a smile and shook it. “Nate Tenley.”

  “Ah, the bull rider. Think I saw you in here last week, right?”

  Will’s smile was genuine enough, but Nate didn’t like the assessing look in his eyes. Or his smug tone. “Yeah.”

  “You’re the talk of the town lately. Taking a break from the rodeo circuit, I heard.” Will put his hands in his pockets, rocked back on his heels and gave him the once-over, a disdainful gleam entering his eyes.

  Clearly, that wasn’t the only thing Will had heard. The folks in Elk Valley had probably filled him in on all the gossip associated with everyone in town—including Nate’s shortcomings and past mistakes. Especially the one that had cost Paul his life. No way they’d leave that one out. It was the juiciest Elk Valley rumor of all.

  “You’re Landon’s friend?” Will asked.

  Nate nodded. “Amber’s, too.” He cocked his head to the side. “You’re in here a lot. You local?”

  “Been here two years now.” Will gestured toward the center of town. “I’m a financial advisor with Elk Valley Bank and Trust.”

  Decent as hell, probably. “Uh-huh.” And pursuing Amber. “Sounds interesting.”

  Will’s smile tightened. “It is. I imagine you’ve experienced some hard knocks in your—” he made a noncommittal gesture “—line of work. Stop by sometime. I’d be happy to put together an action plan for you.”

  “An action plan?” Nate smirked. “Got my hands full with enough action in the arena, but I’ll look you up if things slow down enough to sit in an office and push paper around.”

  Amber clapped her hands and cleared her throat. “It’s getting late so I better lock up. Nate, I assume you’re my ride?” At his nod, she turned to Will and smiled. “Thanks for stopping by, Will.”

  “Thank you for the excellent meal as always.” Will headed for the door. “See you Saturday. Around four?”

  Amber nodded.

  On his way out, Will called over his shoulder, “Nice meeting you, Nate.”

  “Same.” Nate glanced at Amber. “Saturday?”

  Amber waved his question away. “I’m running a booth at the fall festival.” She propped her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I can’t believe you right now.”

  “What?”

  “You. Will’s a regular. He’s a nice guy and a great customer.”

  “And?”

  “And your...” Those pretty eyes of hers flashed down the length of him, and her cheeks flushed a brighter red. “Your male posturing was out of line.”

  Nate grinned, a thrill of satisfaction spiraling through him. Oh, but she was pissed. And after her comments about being over him, he was happy she still noticed his male, well, anything.

  “I don’t know what you’re smiling about,” she sputtered. “Will was nothing but polite and you were incredibly rude.”

  His smile grew. “Trust me, babe. I was polite.”

  “I beg to differ.” She stomped to the kitchen, returned a few minutes later with her purse and started flicking off the lights.

  Nate wheeled the stroller around, then opened the door. “I’ll get these guys in their car seats while you lock up.”

  “That’s another thing.” She puffed a strand of hair out of her face. “I wish you or Landon would’ve called and told me plans had changed.”

  “About me picking you and the kids up?” Nate shrugged. “We didn’t think you’d mind.”

  She held the door as he pushed the stroller outside. “It would’ve been nice to have been asked first.”

  Nate stopped and looked back at her, a pang of guilt hitting him. He’d butted in again and she was tired. It showed in the dark shadows under her eyes and heavy slump of her shoulders.

  But man, she was beautiful, inside and out. Kind, patient and compassionate. Always had been. He wanted to gather her up in his arms, ease her load and hold her like he should’ve been holding her for the past year and a half. Tuck her head under his chin, breathe her in. Feel that sense of welcome and warmth he’d experienced by the fire in her living room and help her feel the same. He wanted...

  Her.

  “May I drive you home, Amber?” he asked softly.

  She moved to speak, then stopped. Some of the anger faded from her expression. “Okay.” She turned, keys in hand, toward the door and said begrudgingly, “Thanks.”

  He’d take it.

  Nate continued across the parking lot, the sound of Amber’s keys jangling and his kids’ happy chatter filling him with a sense of relaxed calm. One he hadn’t felt in years.

  He smiled down at the three pairs of hands and feet moving excitedly in the stroller. “She’ll see, rascals,” he whispered. “I can be as decent as Will. I’ve just got to show her.”

  * * *

  It’s just a stroller and a ride home. That’s all. Nothing more.

  Amber laced her fingers in her lap and focused on the dark road snaking around the mountain in front of them. “The stroller’s nice. Where’d you get it?”

  Nate glanced in the mirror for the umpteenth time, then smiled. “Valley Depot. There were three I liked but that one holds all of them and has cushier seats.”

  “Cushier?” She stared at him.

  “Cushier.” His muscular thigh moved and the engine rumbled as the SUV accelerated up a steep incline. He caught her staring. “Trust me, I’ve grown to appreciate cushy in the state I’m in.”

  She eyed his side. “How is your state lately?”

  “Bit better every day.” The SUV slowed and he palmed the steering wheel, taking a right. “Even led trail rides yesterday and this morning. Made it round-trip both days.”

  Amber watched his broad hands move, his long fingers readjusting the rearview mirror—again—and his blunt fingertips sliding along the wheel as it turned. The small of her back tingled with the remembered feel of those callused palms slipping beneath her shirt and smoothing across her skin, pulling her into his strong embrace.

  Face burning, she jerked her attention back to the road. “You shouldn’t be riding at all. Mac’s crazy to ask you to do that.”

  “He didn’t ask. I offered.” Nate straightened in his seat and eased the vehicle down the narrow drive to her cabin. “I took it slow and stopped when it got uncomfortable.”

  She moved to argue, then clamped her mouth shut. Who was she to lecture? It was none of her business how he spent his days, just as hers were none of his. Besides, he wouldn’t listen anyway. Never did when it came to horses, bulls or rodeos. Any activities that didn’t involve those three things were tantamount to pushing paper for Nate, as he’d put it to Will earlier.

  Or at least, mostly. He didn’t seem to have a problem with baby shopping. He had excellent taste in strollers, she’d give him that. And those blankets he’d bought were softer than she’d imagined they’d be. It took her an
extra ten minutes to peel herself off her mattress and trudge out from under the toasty warmth of one each morning.

  Okay. Blankets, stroller and a ride home. Still no big deal. He was just helping provide for their children and he had every right since he was their father. No reason any of that should make her uncomfortable, but a sense of unease drifted through her just the same. His visits to her cabin with Landon almost every night were one thing, but being alone with him was another altogether.

  He stopped her SUV at the end of the driveway, right next to his truck.

  There was something about the idea of his vehicle parked in front of her house while she wasn’t here. About him being here when she wasn’t. Conflicting emotions she couldn’t quite put her finger on danced deliciously in her belly but chilled her skin.

  “I take it Landon loaned you my extra set of keys?”

  “Yeah.” He opened his door. “Hope you don’t mind. I came out early and—”

  Dylan whined, the plaintive cry starting small and gradually increasing in volume.

  Nate glanced at the rearview mirror, then hopped out. “I’ll help you get ’em inside.”

  “But there’s no nee—”

  The driver’s door shut. Amber looked helplessly at the porch. The light was on. Nate must’ve turned that on when he came out earlier.

  “Amber, you want to grab the stroller while I unbuckle them? We could take them for a short spin if you’d like?”

  She glanced in the backseat, where Nate spoke in low, soothing tones to Dylan as he unfastened the car seat straps, then lifted him to his chest. Dylan rubbed his face against Nate’s shirt, his wails softening to dissatisfied grunts.

  “Amber?” Nate tipped his chin toward the trunk. “It’s lightweight. You can try it out to see if you like it, then take ’em inside in one trip.”

  “I can’t push that thing up the porch steps.”

  “Not on your own.” He smiled. “But with one of us lifting on each end, it’ll be a cinch.”

  Savannah twisted to look up at her and grinned.

  “Come on, please,” he urged. “They enjoyed it earlier at the café.”

  Amber reached out and brushed a curl away from Savannah’s cheek. Oh, why not? The fresh air might blow the grump off her. “All right. But just a short stroll, okay? I still have to give them their bath.”

  It was a clear, cool night but warm enough for a brief walk. They ventured to the end of the driveway, Mason giggling and Dylan grinning the entire time. Savannah drifted off halfway. And every once in a while, Nate would cup her elbow, put a hand on the stroller and guide them all around a pothole or pine cone, sending a pleasant but unwelcome shiver through her that quickened her step back to the cabin.

  Once inside, she kicked her shoes off, pushed the stroller down the hall and stopped in front of the open door of the nursery.

  “It’s nice being able to transport them all at one time and even nicer that it fits through all the doorways,” Amber said. “Thank you for this.”

  “You’re welcome.” Nate squatted by the stroller and smiled as he rubbed the back of Mason’s hand. “Mason’s out now, too. We’re gonna have a time waking ’em up for a bath.”

  “About that...” She kneaded the back of her neck. “It’s getting late and I can manage things from here on out. There’s no need for you to stay.”

  He stood slowly. “Maybe not, but I’d like to.”

  “They’re half asleep already. They’ll be in bed before long.”

  “That’s okay.” His jaw firmed. “I haven’t been able to spend much time with them this past week. I’d like to help.”

  “I appreciate that but—” She stopped, the colorful mobiles hanging over the cribs catching her eye. “Did you buy those, too?”

  He nodded. “When I got the stroller. Thought it’d help entertain them if they woke up during the night. Might help give you a few extra minutes to yourself.”

  Amber shoved her hands in her pockets. “And you came inside and set them up?”

  “Yeah.” His green eyes studied her face. “When I called Landon, I offered to fix the faucets and he said it’d be okay. Figured I’d go ahead and do both while I was here.”

  Blankets, stroller, a ride home, mobiles and he’d fixed the faucets. Not to mention, he’d been in her home when she hadn’t been here. Without her knowledge and without her permission.

  “I wanted to surprise you,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry. I know I was out of line twice tonight but the three of us used to help each other out like this all the time, so I honestly didn’t think you’d mind.”

  “I do.”

  Dylan started at the harsh sound of her voice, then blinked up at her sleepily. She bent, kissed his cheek, then eased past Nate down the hallway. His heavy tread followed her into the living room and she turned to face him.

  “I do mind, Nate. Things have changed. You’re welcome when I’m here, but I don’t even like Landon being here when I’m not.” She held out her hand, palm up. Good grief, this was ridiculous and embarrassing, but it had to be addressed. “Do you still have my key?”

  Frowning, he retrieved the key from his pocket, then placed it in her hand. “I’m sorry, Amber.”

  “I’m not trying to offend you or be difficult,” she said. “It’s just that things aren’t like they used to be between us. This is my private space. My home.”

  “I know.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “It’s also my daughter’s and sons’ home. That’s what I was thinking of at the time.” He shifted from one foot to the other. “This is all new to me. I’m trying to do the right thing here. I just don’t know how to navigate it.”

  “Neither do I.” She spread her hands helplessly. “Maybe we should come up with a schedule. A set time that works for both of us for you to see them. That way I’ll know when to expect you.”

  He drew his head back, a muscle clenching in his jaw. “And if I want to see them outside of that schedule? What then?”

  “You could call, see if we’re home and—”

  “See if they’re available?” His smile was tight. “Is that how Will does it? I’ve missed the first six months of their lives. I’m not real keen on missing a whole lot more.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t see what Will has to do with any of this.”

  “He said Mason remembered him, which means he saw my son before I did. Knew of his existence before I did.” His tone sharpened. “Do you have any idea how much that hurt?” He moved closer, expression darkening. “Are you seeing him?”

  She squared her shoulders. “No. Not that you’re entitled to ask. I’m sure you’ve been with other women on the circuit since you left.”

  “I haven’t put my hands—or eyes—on another woman since I was with you. Haven’t wanted to. All those rumors are just a bunch of small-town talk. People see what they want to see. You know that as well as I do.” He took another step toward her, studying her face. “We said we’d be honest with each other but you’re lying to me.”

  She frowned. “I’ve been and am being completely honest with you.”

  “No, you’re not. We agreed to work on this together, but I barely get any time with my own kids. Landon is a constant stand-in for me when it comes to them and you seem determined to keep me at arm’s length. Last week you said you didn’t mean to hurt me, but I don’t think that was true.” He remained silent for a moment, then asked, voice soft, “Do you want to hurt me, Amber?”

  She froze, her heart slamming hard against her ribs. Did she? Not really, but—

  “Sometimes.” Her voice caught on the word and she touched her mouth with shaky fingers, wanting to stop speaking but unable to. “It’s awful of me and not fair to you. I know that.” She blinked against the wet heat in her eyes. “But I wanted you so much that night. I wanted to feel so much from you, but you weren’t wi
th me. Not really. Then you left again without even looking back.” Her throat burned. “I was worth more than that. And I thought you believed I was worth more than that, too.”

  His mouth parted on a swift breath. “Amber—”

  “So, yes.” Tears tickled her cheeks. “Sometimes I do want to hurt you.”

  His green eyes darkened as they stared into hers. Emotions moved through his expression but they were too fleeting, too hard to read, and even if she could identify them... Could she trust them? Or him?

  Nate cupped her jaw, his thumb smoothing over the tear clinging to her chin, then lowered his head. His lips barely touched hers, moving slowly, caressing. His broad palm remained gentle against her skin and the familiar taste and feel of his mouth filled her senses.

  The tender sensation of his touch was so comforting it made her forget, just for a moment, how much he’d let her down.

  Her eyelids fluttered shut and she slid her hands into his thick hair, fingertips rubbing the longer strands, brushing across his smooth nape and along the corded muscles of his shoulders. Seeking to relive those brief moments on the riverbank when she’d held him in her arms and allowed herself to imagine he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

  “Then hurt me,” Nate whispered against her mouth. “If that’s what it takes for you to let me in.”

  Chapter 5

  “Whatcha think?” Amber spun in front of the full-length mirror, her loose top skimming over her jean leggings. “Is this a good outfit for eating crow?”

  Savannah, seated on the floor between her siblings, grinned around her pacifier and banged on the toy piano in her lap. Mason squealed as he bounced to his sister’s tune. And Dylan ignored her, choosing to pick at the colorful blanket beneath him instead.

  “I can see right now that you three aren’t going to be much help.”

  Not that they had been last night, either. After that so-sweet-it-was-almost-scary kiss from Nate, her feisty trio had only slightly grumbled during their bath instead of erupting with their usual delighted squeals or exhausted wails. Then they’d snored their way through their pajama dressing and subsequent tucking in the crib. None of which helped take her mind off Nate’s kiss or the way he’d slipped quietly away last night after his parting shot. Instead, she was left staring at the ceiling all night, his words running on a constant loop through her mind.