Home on the Ranch: Tennessee Bull Rider Read online

  Nate watched the swirls of water around their lines, recalling how withdrawn Amber had become after her mom’s death. Not long after he’d first taken off for the circuit at eighteen, he’d returned home for the funeral, stood by her and Landon’s sides through the painful event, then sat with her for hours afterward while Landon thanked visitors stopping by to offer their condolences.

  Not once that day or since had she opened up and spoken of the loss.

  “Amber’s had her hands full lately, though,” Tina added. “What with those babies of hers. Beautiful little things, but I imagine it’s a challenge juggling all three of them at once.”

  Nate sighed. “Guess there’s been plenty of talk about that. Probably more since I’ve entered the picture.” He nodded. “It’s your turn, so spill.”

  “Nah. Ain’t none of that worth repeating.” Her lips twisted. “Most of it came from Darlene Norton and she ain’t been right since the seventies when she hooked up with that uppity husband of hers. We used to be tight but soon as she got married, she started acting like she was sitting in high cotton and didn’t know me anymore. Seems I ain’t smart enough—or rich enough—to suit her social circle.” She stared silently at the water for a moment, then a laugh burst from her lips. “Did you know Darlene used to get drunker than Cooter Brown when she came home from college on the weekends?” She grinned. “I could tell you some stories about Darlene Norton that’d singe your ears. But I won’t.” She waved a hand, saying, “Darlene might act like an old heifer most of the time, but she’s all right underneath it all. Guess we all have our wild times, don’t we?” Her smile dimmed. “You and Paul sure did.”

  Nate stilled. “I’m sorry, Tina.” Eyes burning, he blinked hard and cleared his throat. “That’s why I stopped by. I wanted you to know I think of Paul every day. Not a day passes that I don’t regret what we did.”

  “Yeah.” Her voice hardened. “Me, too. Can’t say I was proud of either one of you kids that day.” She stiffened, staring at the river. “A parent should go before their child. That’s how it should be. Losing Paul’s a kind of hurt I don’t think I’ll ever get over.”

  A swift breeze kicked through the trees, parting their branches and blowing her hair back. Her cheeks glistened in the sunlight.

  She scrubbed the back of her hand over her face. “But it ain’t a reason for me to give up and lay down. You, either, come to think of it. Paul would’ve wanted you to have a good life.” Smiling, she added, “I’ve missed you. You’ve grown into quite a man and remind me so much of Paul. It gets lonely out here on my own and it’d be nice if you came by more often. How long you staying this time?”

  “I’d like to stay for...”

  Forever. Nate paused at the thought, a sweet rush of satisfaction moving through him at the prospect of a future in Elk Valley. Put down roots? Stay by Amber’s side day in and day out, supporting her and their children? Loving them? Loving her?

  He smiled. Forever sounded just about right.

  “I’m staying for the foreseeable and unforeseeable future,” he said, his smile growing. “So you’ll just have to put up with seeing a lot more of me.”

  Tina laughed, the rich sound rising above the rush of wind and burble of water around the rocks. It filled the clean expanse of open air above the riverbank and the mending tattered remains of Nate’s heart. “Coming from a handsome thing like you, those are words even an old, tired gal like me can warm up to.”

  Nate stayed for several more hours, fishing with Tina and reminiscing over good memories of Paul as they ate homemade biscuits and drank strong coffee inside the cabin. Around noon he hugged her tight, promising to return in a couple days for another visit, then climbed in his truck and drove back down the mountain.

  He lowered the windows and smiled as the fresh air gusted in, the cool wind licking through his hair, rushing past his ears and swirling over the bare skin of his neck. The heavy weight that had been lodged in his core for years dissipated with each mile.

  To me, you’ve always been the best.

  Nate smiled, a strong sense of freedom and renewed energy sparking within him. He turned in the direction of Amber’s cabin, then pressed his foot harder on the pedal. Until now he’d never truly been his best with Amber. It was time that changed. He just hoped like hell she’d be willing to open her heart to him again.

  * * *

  Amber cuddled Mason closer and stroked his back. “Come on, baby. Please close your eyes and go to sleep.”

  Mason whimpered, then shoved his face into her neck.

  Sighing, she carried him out of the warm nursery and down the chilly hallway. It never failed. Every time she put Savannah, Mason and Dylan down for a nap, at least one of them refused to drift off without putting up a fight. On Sunday afternoons this didn’t normally bother her. She had the day off work and it simply meant more time to hug and admire one of them. But today—just like last night—Mason refused to settle down, providing little rest for either of them. And it didn’t help matters that her mind was preoccupied with Nate.

  Last night he’d stood with her on the bluff, staring silently at the water as he’d held her in his arms. He’d driven her home later, walked her to the door but turned down her invitation to come inside to visit with Landon and the babies. Apologizing, he’d explained he needed to think things through and would return the next morning.

  Only, it was well after noon and he had yet to show. And after losing a good night’s sleep, Mason was the crankiest she’d ever seen him, leaving Amber at her wits’ end. She’d managed to drag on a pair of old jogging pants and T-shirt, feed the babies breakfast and settle two of them down for a nap. That, it seemed, would be the extent of her accomplishments for the morning.

  “You have a full belly and fresh diaper,” Amber whispered, patting Mason’s bottom as she walked down the hall, the hardwood floor cold against her bare feet. “What more could you want, hmm?”

  Mason whined louder and balled his fists against her T-shirt.

  Oh, man. All she needed was for him to wake up Savannah and Dylan. Then she’d have three frustrated babies to soothe instead of one. As it was, she was having a hard time settling her own nerves and though the privacy of McBride’s cabin was welcome, at times like this she felt isolated.

  “All right, now. Enough of that, okay?” Amber slipped into her bedroom, sat on the edge of her bed, then propped Mason on her knees. “Your uncle Landon is bringing over the pumpkins he picked out at Ms. Exie’s later this evening. Don’t you want to be rested up so you can help us make jack-o’-lanterns?”

  Mason stopped crying and blinked up at her, his cheeks flushed and blond curls mussed.

  “Halloween’s right around the corner,” she continued, pressing her palm to his small forehead. No fever, thank goodness. “We can make four of them—one for each of us. Then we can put them on the front steps.” She smiled and tapped his small nose. “But you have to get a good nap in first.”

  He stared blankly at her for a few seconds, then his face crumpled and he started squalling again.

  Amber winced. “My gracious, baby doll. You’ve got a strong pair of lungs.”

  She stood, then paced with him in front of the dresser, glancing at the photograph of McBride that she’d returned to its surface days earlier.

  “Come on, McBride. Help me out.”

  Bushy eyebrows, a permanently detached smile and silence was all she received in return. A familiar ache returned, her throat tightening.

  “Guess it’s up to us, then.” She pressed her cheek against Mason’s soft one, then strolled from one side of the room to the other. “We’ve got this, Mason. All you need to do is close your eyes and think of good things. Could you do that, please?”

  Mason cried louder, writhed against her chest and kicked at her middle.

  “Oh, please, Mason.” She rubbed her face as she shifted him to he
r other side, her eyes heavy and body fatigued.

  What now? There was no way she was calling Landon. He’d already babysat for her yesterday when she’d taken off with Nate, packed up the festival booth after she returned home and didn’t plan on coming over today for several hours. She refused to interrupt his Sunday afternoon of rest with pleas for more help.

  Bobbie Jean wouldn’t hesitate to come over if she asked, but poor Bobbie Jean had pulled her out of more pits of despair than she cared to count and the last thing she wanted to do was take advantage of Bobbie Jean’s friendship just to ease her own discomfort.

  And Nate? She bit her lip, then walked to the window and stared at the empty driveway. She’d said too much yesterday. Had reopened old wounds, pushed too hard and scared him off. Just as she had the night they’d spent together over a year ago.

  He’d probably taken to the road again, in pain and alone. He wasn’t going to show. As usual.

  Amber closed her eyes and kissed the top of Mason’s head. Lord, why did she have to lose her temper at the festival? She’d made a fool of herself, probably blighted her and Landon’s good name with her snarky behavior toward Darlene, and confronting Nate with the past had only increased his pain and the distance between him and their children. He’d looked so downtrodden when he’d left.

  Good intentions or not, she should’ve left well enough alone. She shouldn’t have given in to her emotions. Doing so had made a bigger mess of—

  The low growl of an engine rumbled outside. She lifted her head and looked out the window, her heart skipping a beat as Nate’s truck rounded the bend, then slowed to a halt beside her SUV.

  “He showed,” she whispered amid Mason’s cries. “He actually showed.”

  The driver’s door opened and Nate emerged, his long, muscular length striding toward the front porch. He’d traded the khakis and collared shirt for his usual attire of jeans and a T-shirt, the stiff pose he’d presented at the festival yesterday was nowhere to be found and he looked...well, he looked like...

  “Nate.”

  The Nate she’d always known. And, heaven help her, still loved.

  Her gaze clung to him, following the strong movements of his muscular legs and relaxed swing of his burly arms, then drifted toward his face. A weathered wood column obscured his expression as he ascended the steps, then disappeared from view.

  His heavy knock sent a jolt through her. She clutched Mason closer, then made her way down the hall, hesitating as she reached the front door.

  “Amber?”

  “C-coming.” She shivered at the muffled throb of his deep voice, ran a hand over her disheveled hair, then opened the door.

  And there he was. As handsome, strong and confident as she remembered.

  Her heart turned over in her chest, the peaceful ease in his stance silencing her worries. His short hair was attractively rumpled, his green eyes were bright and the lines of strain beside his mouth had vanished.

  But his welcoming smile dimmed as his gaze roved over her face, then settled on Mason, who rubbed his face against her neck, still crying.

  Oh, great. What a greeting. She looked like a haggard country bumpkin and Mason was howling like a banshee. A far cry from the polished women and adoring cheers of a crowd that Nate was used to on the circuit. No wonder he continued to skip out of Elk Valley and chase bigger dreams if he imagined this was the kind of life that awaited him here.

  She forced a laugh. “Welcome to the Hard Rock Cabin. Our son decided he’d pursue his career goal early and perfect his wail now.”

  Nate’s grin returned. “I’m sorry I’m late.” He reached out, smoothing his palm over Mason’s back. “Is he okay?”

  At Nate’s touch, Mason lifted his head and swiveled toward him, crying louder. The sharp sound made Amber’s temples throb.

  “He didn’t sleep well last night and h-he...” She dragged the back of her hand over her forehead. “He—”

  “Here.” Nate held out his hands, palms up and voice soft. “May I?”

  She nodded jerkily and handed Mason over, cringing as he wailed. “Have at it.”

  Nate cradled Mason close to his broad chest and entered the cabin. “Now, what’s this all about, little man?”

  A gust of cold air swept through the open door. Amber closed it and rubbed her chilled arms, watching as Nate swayed slowly from side to side, murmuring soothing words to Mason.

  “Why you giving your mama such a hard time, hmm?” His low tones were deep and rhythmic. “You’re in a warm house and had a beautiful woman holding you.” He glanced at her, smiling softly, and winked. “The way I see it, you had it made.”

  Despite her irritation and exhaustion, Amber managed a smile. Lord, Nate was gorgeous. And he always could deliver a line better than most men.

  “I think you’re in need of a nap, fella,” Nate said softly.

  Mason blinked up at him, his cries quieting to random sniffles.

  Nate glanced at her. “Where’s Savannah and Dylan?”

  “Asleep in the nursery,” she said. “Mason wasn’t in the mood to join them.”

  Nate nodded, then headed for the nursery, still rocking Mason and speaking to him in low tones.

  Amber followed, then sagged with relief a few minutes later as Mason’s eyelids grew heavy and Nate settled him into his crib.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Nate faced her and held out his hand, the tender expression he had for Mason lingering as he examined her face. “Come with me?”

  Frowning, she hesitated briefly, then slipped her hand into his and allowed him to tug her gently from the nursery, down the hall and into her bedroom.

  “Did you get any sleep last night?” he asked, stopping at the foot of her bed.

  She stifled a smile and scoffed. “Why? You trying to say I look rough?”

  He grinned. “No. You always look beautiful.” He smoothed a blunt fingertip beneath her eyes. “But maybe a bit tired here.”

  “And you?” She studied the curve of his smile. “Did you think things through last night?”

  He nodded. “That’s one reason I was later getting here than I expected. I went to see Tina this morning.”

  She searched his eyes. “How did it go?”

  “Really well.” He sat on the edge of the bed, then tugged her to a seated position beside him. “Because of you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah.” His big palm drifted over her back. “Don’t think I’d have ever faced her again if you hadn’t nudged me in that direction. It was hard getting there but we had a nice talk, sorted the past out. Things look different now. Clearer.” He sighed, his soft breath ruffling her hair. “So many things.”

  As in things between him and Tina? The children? Or with her? Amber shivered and dangled her legs against the mattress, afraid to ask and unsure of what to say.

  Nate bent, skimmed his hand down her leg, then cupped her right heel in his palm. “Your feet are cold.”

  She touched his broad back, the deep tenor of his voice humming against her fingertips as he spoke. “Mmm hmm.” Her eyelids grew heavy at the comforting sensation. “Your hands are warm.”

  His grip firmed. “Lie back.”

  “What?” Her belly flipped as his calloused skin moved over the tender soles of her feet.

  He looked up at her, blond waves of his hair slipping onto his forehead as he asked, “Do you trust me?”

  Her thighs stiffened beneath the weight of his upper body. “I...”

  Did she? She used to. But now...

  His eyes darkened, a sadness entering them. “Nate, I don’t think this is a good idea. Last time things turned out so—”

  “It’s not about that,” he whispered. “Please, Amber.”

  She smoothed her fingers up his back, then threaded them through the short waves of his h
air. They were soft and warm. Like his voice and expression. All of which tugged at a deep longing within her.

  “Okay.” She scooted slowly up the bed and stretched out across the rumpled blanket beneath her. Unsure of what to do with her hands, she clutched them together across her belly and managed a weak laugh. “Now what?”

  “Close your eyes.”

  She raised her head and cocked an eyebrow. “Say what?”

  He laughed softly, a boyish expression flitting across his face. “Please? Just close your eyes and relax.”

  Smirking, she dropped her head back against the pillow and complied. “Okay. My underbelly is exposed and my eyes are closed. What now?”

  His big hands covered her right foot, one warm palm returning to her heel and the other encircling her ankle. They moved in slow, caressing movements across her skin, gently squeezing and massaging, then eased to her other foot.

  The chill on her skin faded and a hot, delicious flush spread throughout her body. It tingled in her toes, vibrated lightly up her legs and swirled enticingly in her belly.

  “That feels magnificent.” Her tongue turned lazy, slurring her words.

  “More?”

  His voice was closer and the bed shifted as he moved.

  “Please,” she murmured.

  His tender touch proceeded up each of her legs, his hands slipping inside the loose legs of her jogging pants, long fingers kneading the sensitive skin behind her knees rhythmically.

  “You know,” she said, “you rocked Mason at just about the same speed as you’re going about this. Makes me think you’re trying to get me to drift off, too.”

  “Is it working?”

  She smiled and a husky sound escaped her, half laugh, half moan.

  He chuckled, his muscular chest vibrating against her thighs. “A nap might do us all some good.”

  His lips, gentle and coaxing, brushed across the knuckles of her splayed hands. She slid them away from her belly and placed them at her sides.